And so it went...

I wish I could compress my emotions and write them down for you, I wish I had the words to explain how this year has changed me. I wish I could guide you through my struggles and show you how I overcame them. I wish there was a way you could understand.

But you can't fully understand, not even other exchange students do. Just the same as I don't fully understand their stories. 

But that's what makes them great and that's why I'll try..... 

"30 days down. 4000 miles away. And a new life has begun. New mistakes. New faces, friends and, family. New places to see and new places to avoid. New songs in a new language, everything in a new language. But change is good and 30 days in and already some of the old is blending with some of the new and the rest is becoming somewhat of a familiarity. 

Everything becomes an adventure. Each: day, walk, meal, bike ride, class, shopping trip, evening and so on. 30 adventures down 270 left to go."

I didn't want to leave. I was afraid, of the people I'd lose and the friends I wouldn't find. I didn't want to leave my clothes and my bed, family and dog. I'd wondered if I was making the right decision. What I didn't realize is that there are no right or wrong in this world, just standards set for you by all the other homo sapiens that crawl these soils.

I started my year more naive than a dumb blonde on the bachelor, but learned things I never would have imagined. I had limited my expectations to people and words, and I learned those too, but what I hadn't expected was to learn how to be happy for no reason. To dance in my room because it just felt right, I learned to walk alone and be okay with it. This year wasn't what I had planned. No this year was something completely different. 

It started off in a mixture of speed, slowness, confusion and joy, sometimes I thought it would last forever and other I wished it would. I spent too much money on things I didn't need and too much time trying to replace and compare things in Germany with those back home. I found too much comfort in music and not enough in being uncomfortable. But at some point I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I stopped caring what others thought and I tried my hardest to let go of home, because that was no longer my home anymore and it won't be till July 5th and until that day arrives I have to make sure I find my place. 

So I started trying a little more. 

So I started to connect. 

So I started traveling more. 

So I started to live again. 

I'd served my time being afraid.

It wasn't easy to let go. It never is. To people. Places. Things. Ideas. But they would still be there at the end of my 300 day journey and the things I could have experienced would be washed away.  

*270 adventures down, 30 left to go... I wasn't ready, none of us are really, we just do the best we can. 

Special thanks to my amazing host family, and friends in Germany for an amazing year! As well as my friends and family back in Nebraska for all your support! Heres to an amazing last 30 days! :) 

TSCHÜSS