How To Know If You're German

I have survived. Two-hundred days that is, and because of this I think I can finally shine the light on a serious issue: "How to know if you're German" If you answer yes to the following questions contact your doctor, dentist, family members and loved ones. This is a serious issue and many families suffer every year. Educate yourself before it's too late. THIS DOESN'T HAVE TO BE YOU!

1) Do you buy your bread from a bakery instead of the grocery store?

2) Do you buy bread at least four to five times a week?

3) Do you know of at least 40+ bread types and which is your favorite?

4) Do you only see your nations flag when the world cup comes around every four years?

5) Do you have six different trash cans in one room that are each used to recycle different materials?

6) Has it been months since you last had meat that has come from a cow?

7) Do you and almost every person you know smoke cigarettes? 

8) You don't say "cheers" you "PROST!"?

9) Have you seen "Dinner For One" on New Years Eve every year since it was created? 

10) Did you sacrifice two or three years of your youth to learn for the ABI?

11) You have heard of more Fußball teams than the amount of brain cells you have?

12) Is everything you eat "gesund?"

13) Can you survive a conversation with only the words: ja, ach so, and genau?

14) You haven't stepped out of your bed with out a precociously executed plan of your day in your entire life?

15) You know what a Radler is and you love it?

16) Do you drink an Apfelsaftschorle at least five times a week?

17) You can not have a car and get everywhere you need to go by bus, bike, foot or train?

18) Do you have "house" shoes and "outdoor" shoes and respect the difference between the two? 

19) Does the ceiling in the upstairs rooms of your house slant downward? 

20) Can you open all of your windows in two different directions? 

21) You consider this normal during February:

22) Can you name multiple types of sausages of the top of your head?

23) You respect the butter pretzel?

24) Christmas markets are a big deal, and must include Glühwein?

IF YOU CAN ANSWER YES TO THE MAJORITY OF THESE QUESTIONS SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY! 

TSCHÜSSSSS