I wanted to take time out of your day today to share a great struggle with you that I have faced this year, one I see no hope in solving with only a little over 50 days left. I knew before I left for Germany that the language would be hard, that the grammar would not completely make sense to a native English speaker like myself. However I had not realized how truly big of a struggle making sense of the words of what the Germans said to me on a daily basis would be.
SO I am here to help share this struggle with you today. God bless you.
1. Halt die fresse: This is a good one to get the ball rolling. Halt means stop, die = the.. soo "stop the" and then fresse means eat. I just don't understand why anyone would want to "stop the eat." WHAT KIND OF NON SENSE IS THIS!
EX: *Helga brings out the fifth course of the meal*
Bobby: "Halt die fresse!"
2. Laüft bei dir: This literally translates to "Walks by you." I mean I guess that would make sense if you were walking?! I'm not really sure. Maybe Germans love for walking has messed up their ability to make logical sentences... I guess we'll never know what "walks" by them.
3. Ich sehe schwarz für dich: "I see black for you." Well I don't know what they are seeing black for.. Maybe they have something in their eye and instead of seeing us they are seeing the black spec in their eye. But why this is a common phrase I'm not too sure..
4. Alles Klar?: "Everything clear?" Now this one translates a little more clearly but I still just don't understand why they are asking me if "everything clear" like do I have a smudge on my glasses?!?! WHATS CLEAR!? This question isn't.
EX: *Bobby has smudge on glasses and walks into pole*
Helga: *Takes glasses and cleans them off* "Alles Klar?"
5. Brustwarze: "Breast warts" Why do warts on your breasts deserve a special name from other type of warts? Are warts on your breasts different? Do they get offended if you just call them warts?
6. Handschuhe: This one directly translates into "hand shoe." Why German!? What kind of hand needs a shoe, and more importantly where does one acquire said hand shoes? I would like a pair so if anyone knows let me know!
7. Es geht: "It goes." I assume they are talking about an auto here.. I'm not so sure though. What exactly goes? Germany has some clarifying to do.
8. Das ist nicht das gelbe vom Ei: This last one translates to say "That is not the yellow from the egg." Maybe Germans have a weird obsession with the color of the yellow part of an egg, or maybe they need to constantly be reminded that other circular yellow objects, like a tennis ball, are not always the yellow part of an egg.
EX: *Helga goes and tries to eat a yellow golf ball while playing putt-putt*
Bobby: "Yo Helga, Das ist nicht das gelbe vom Ei!"
TCHÜSS
